"Because I didn’t grow up in this country, I didn’t suffer the peer pressures that they suffer here," she said.

She did not experience the separation of groups into "cool," "popular" or "nerd" categories. "The worse I had to face was ‘These are the rich people and these are the not-rich people.’"

Nigrani found out about the Strengthening Families program two years ago through a flier brought home by her son and signed up. "I read the program would teach him about peer pressure and I would like for him to know how to deal with that," she said. "I liked it so much, I decided to go with my daughter, who is 10 years old."

Teaching children ways of dealing with peer pressure is one of the goals of the free program offered by the North Arlington Health Department. Unlike other parenting programs, both children and parents participate, according to Health Department Administrator Regina Civile Guillen.

Matt Rossett also found out about Strengthening Families through a flier brought home by his daughter at Roosevelt School.

The program is intended for children between 10 and 14 years of age, a period many experts find to be a major transition period. "Children—they don’t come with a handbook, you know?" said Rossett.

Many parents do to their children what their parents did to them, Rossett noted, without ever being sure if the way they handle it is the best way.

The program is held at Wednesday nights and runs for seven sessions. Families are also offered a free dinner. "It’s an incentive because you don’t have to cook and clean up," he said. "It’s also a night that you’re spending out together with your family."

After dinner, the children and the parents split up and go to professional facilitators. The professionals talk to the children about having goals with the intention of avoiding serious behavioral problems during the challenging teen years, said Civile Guillen.

Parents are shown videos depicting different situations a parent faces and discuss strategies for handling them. Parents are taught to "be a model" rather than reacting and are given skills to use with their children in the areas of discipline and education, said Civile Guillen.

Parents are taught how to encourage open communication with their children; to let them know they can come to their parents about anything.

In the realm of communication skills, Rossett said the program not only helped him communicate with his children, but also his wife.

The program teaches parents to love their children, but sets limits, said Nigrani. Parents are taught strategies for modifying their child’s behavior without yelling, cursing or hitting. One strategy Nigrani learned from the program involves speaking about how one feels and clearly stating what one wants as a parent.

The program also teaches parents about giving rewards for tasks, words of encouragement and holding family meetings to address situations.

"The children are also made aware of issues parents have to face as the parents become sensitive to issues children go through at their age," said Civile Guillen.

Afterwards, the parents and their children join together and participate in activities such as making a family tree, a family shield or the children do an art project to express their goals, said Civile Guillen.

While Nigrani could not say the program drastically changed her son’s behavior, she noted how the family has done more talking in lieu of yelling, she has heard more "I love you’s" and received more affection from both of her children.

The free program is offered through the North Arlington Health Department. Strengthening Families is a state-run program and is funded through the Office of Prevention and Training Services at the New Jersey Division of Addiction Services. Any family is eligible, including those in communities surrounding North Arlington. For more information, call the North Arlington Health Department at 201-955-5695.